SHABANA AZMI--FAKIRA (1976)

It was a hit inspite of me

Producer NN Sippy's Fakira is so much in the distant past that I remember very little of it. However, I do believe it was a hit inspite of me and not because of me! It gave me a lot of leverage. I signed many films in its wake.

    I got to work with Shashi Kapoor, whom I had idolised right from my school days. I would save all my poket money to buy his photographs and then get them autographed by him every Sunday when he came visiting his father Prithviraj Kapoor, who was our neighbour. And I was cast opposite him. It was unbelievable!

    While shooting, I found it impossible to open my eyes in the reflector's glare. Shyam Benegal's Cameraman Govind Nihalani largely depended on natural light while mainstrem cinema's Jal Mistry flooded the field with reflectors. Hence, my expression would be the same, whether I had to look angry or romantic or sing a song. Shashi-ji would make me stare into the reflector till tears rolled down my eyes. He was my teacher and well-wisher like Shyam Benegal but diametrically opposite in his behaviour. I was able to glean his affection behind the gruff exterior and so, Shashi Kapoor will always hold a special position in my heart.

    I remember watching the choregrapher Satyanarayan-ji do some very intimate moves with his assistant. I was supposed to follow suit in the song Dil mein tujhe bitha ke sung by Lata Mangeshkar. I ran back to my dressing room and burst into tears saying I couldn't possibly do those moves. Shashi-ji followed me and scolded me: "When you went running to your mother saying you wanted to be actress, you didn't think you'd have to do all this?" I had no choice but to wipe my tears and go back on the set. That's when I discovered Shashi-ji had gotten all the moves changed. Typically him!

    We shot all the songs in Kashmir and stayed at the Oberoi Grand, a far cry from the Dwarka Hotel at Lakdi Ka Pul Hyderabad where we were put up during the shoot of Shyam Benegal's Ankur only a year ago. Shashi-ji would host lavish parties for the entire crew.

    Fakira gave me a strong foothold in mainstream cinema and for that, it will hold a special position in my heart. But still wonder why I didn't concentrate on learning those typical dance moves! Today, when I watch newcomers perform so effortlessly, I am very impressed. The problem was in my head. I thought of myself as Kaifi Azmi's daughter from an intellectual background and from the sophisticated St Xavier's College, and how ridiculous I would look in such situations. That was wrong. Hindi mainstream cinema has an alternative reality and an actor needs to suspend her level of disbelief to give what it takes to look at ease. With time, I learned that lesson.